Posted by boldoneforgod Sept. 22, 2011
We abuse the English word "love" so much these days it has practically lost its meaning, or at least its potency. I mean what is love really? Everything I seem to love brings me joy in one form or another. I love toast because it tastes good. I love my puggle because he is cute and obedient. I love my wife because she is beautiful and kind. Do I love this things only because they give me satisfaction? I know the Bible says that love is not self-seeking, so maybe I don't know what love is at all. However, I also know God is love, and I wouldn't say I don't know God at all. So maybe I'm just asking the wrong question. Instead of asking what love means, I should ask who He is. After thinking long and hard about love, and listening to some misty Edwards songs, I have come to the conclusion that The Cross is the ultimate picture of love. Jesus defines love by His sacrifice for us all; there is no greater display of love. Therefore, loving my wife is more than just enjoying her company and feeling satisfied by our relationship. In fact, loving her has really nothing to do with me at all, but everything to do with Jesus. Love is less of a state of being and more of an active choice. I love my wife rightly when I follow in the footsteps of Christ and lay my life down for her. Love is willing to sacrifice. Love gives freely. This means that my time, energy, and resources are now hers. Now, here comes the hard part. Do I really love God?.... I mean, the way that Jesus loves me. The active choosing type of love...the sacrificial type of love. See "falling in love" is something entirely different than actually loving someone. I have fallen in love with God, and I have fallen in love with my wife, but all that means is that I am captivated by them. Their beauty is astonishing and alluring, but if I truly love them I can't simply treat then like a piece of art. They aren't just there for me to look at when I desire beauty, entertainment, or self-fulfillment. Jesus help me to know what love means, help me to know who love is, and help me to love like you do...the devoted, bleeding, forgive until your last breathe type of love.
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Thursday, September 22, 2011
Learning to Love
A "note" on YouVersion Bible app I read that I really liked:
Friday, June 10, 2011
Psalm 13:5
But I trust in your unfailing love.
I will rejoice because you have rescued me.
I will rejoice because you have rescued me.
Even though I was crying because of lost hope and seemingly wasteful positive attitudes towards attempting to keep Russell awake for a longer feeding, Jesus gave me renewed hope by showing me this verse that even when I feel like abandoned me with trying to keep Russell awake to feed long enough to knock him out for a few more hours at night so I can sleep, He still is there and has given me something so great-my salvation, saving me from the pit-that I can still be happy and be blessed even when things seem to be going all wrong (thanks Maryann for revealing to me that we can blessed even when nothing seems to be going right). So my crying and sleep-deprived induced angry frustration started transforming before my eyes into calmness and thanks.
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Friday, March 18, 2011
Dang it!
Dang it! I fell off the wagon :/ But Thank you Maryann for keepin me accountable! I have no good excuse as to why I haven't kept up - so here's a much needed reflection time with God!
PRAYER: A.C.T.S.
.adoration.
So i was just talking with a friend, Elise, a bit ago, about, well, hair. LoL which then got my mind thinking, "Wow that truley is amazing that God came up with and made such fine detail in all of us as different types of hair." Elise then proceeded to say, "...or eye color or freckles or fingernail shapes..." It's so true! I am just in awe of how he works and i just can't get enough of the fact that God, it seems, had fun with these details. It makes God so much more, relatable, i guess. I can just see Him smiling as he is making us in the womb, thouroughly enjoying the very fine details he puts us together in. Oh man, I wish i could just see you God, meet you face to face. You seem like such a gentle, wise, loving God - which leads to my next point (which I'm just going to go ahead into instead of finishing the prayer....)
I REALLY don't know God!! we were talking in LIFT last night about spending time with our creator and "being holy as he is holy". We talked about how we had this excitement and burst of energy to get to know more about God when we first became saved and now, I am saying to God, "You >seem< gentle, wise, and loving." instead of KNOWING it and PROCLAIMING it! Dang it! How the deceiver has veered me off path, and I just followed. I need to put this down in writing so I don't forget. Sarah B. mentioned that our relationship with God is just that, a relationship. just like we have with our friends or spouses - and we find things to do together that we like, otherwise, we wouldn't do them together because they'd be no fun LoL so why am I doing things that aren't what me and God like to do together? i realize there is some committment to my relationship with God, as well as my spouse and friends, but I never thought of my time spent with God as well, fun! So I'm thinking of things to do with God that aren't boring to me, like opening my Bible app each time I open my Facebook app, or blogging my thoughts down, or praying with others. this list needs to grow and expand and get much more creative. So keep me accountable readers (for now that's just you Maryann) to keep my relationship with God fun!
PRAYER: A.C.T.S.
.adoration.
So i was just talking with a friend, Elise, a bit ago, about, well, hair. LoL which then got my mind thinking, "Wow that truley is amazing that God came up with and made such fine detail in all of us as different types of hair." Elise then proceeded to say, "...or eye color or freckles or fingernail shapes..." It's so true! I am just in awe of how he works and i just can't get enough of the fact that God, it seems, had fun with these details. It makes God so much more, relatable, i guess. I can just see Him smiling as he is making us in the womb, thouroughly enjoying the very fine details he puts us together in. Oh man, I wish i could just see you God, meet you face to face. You seem like such a gentle, wise, loving God - which leads to my next point (which I'm just going to go ahead into instead of finishing the prayer....)
I REALLY don't know God!! we were talking in LIFT last night about spending time with our creator and "being holy as he is holy". We talked about how we had this excitement and burst of energy to get to know more about God when we first became saved and now, I am saying to God, "You >seem< gentle, wise, and loving." instead of KNOWING it and PROCLAIMING it! Dang it! How the deceiver has veered me off path, and I just followed. I need to put this down in writing so I don't forget. Sarah B. mentioned that our relationship with God is just that, a relationship. just like we have with our friends or spouses - and we find things to do together that we like, otherwise, we wouldn't do them together because they'd be no fun LoL so why am I doing things that aren't what me and God like to do together? i realize there is some committment to my relationship with God, as well as my spouse and friends, but I never thought of my time spent with God as well, fun! So I'm thinking of things to do with God that aren't boring to me, like opening my Bible app each time I open my Facebook app, or blogging my thoughts down, or praying with others. this list needs to grow and expand and get much more creative. So keep me accountable readers (for now that's just you Maryann) to keep my relationship with God fun!
Friday, March 4, 2011
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Growing
I got a new Bible a few days ago! I'm so excited! It's a NLT study Bible. My first study Bible. I look forward to transferring all my notes from my tiny pink Bible into this new one.
Ok, so today's verse to study will be......Hebrew 12 (it was the first thing that caught my eye in my new Bible) - but first prayer!
PRAYER: A.C.T.S.
.adoration.
Jesus, I love that song, "The Face of Love". The words really make me think and just get to me. They make me think of you and it brings me back to show me what love really truly is-You. i have really enjoyed learning so much about you and how the words and meanings you created are so pure and so different from the world. I love learning these new, well actually original, definitions of words i thought i knew like love. I'm so excited to share this knowledge and gift you've given me to Russell.
.confession.
This is hard, I have to admit :/ but it's good cuz I need to come to the reality I sin EVERYDAY! so i should always have something to confess here that needs to be worked on. I guess for today I need to confess that I really have a problem spending money. Not necessarilly on material things (which I do do) but more so on spending money on to go out to eat with friends and family. quality time is one of my biggest love languages and I cherish any moment I get to spend time with friends or family. So when a lunch date is mentioned or I am invited it feels worth it to me to spend the money for the outcome i get of bonding with friends and family. Even though I feel God has really blessed me and Ryan monetarily lately, I do feel like i am out of control on the spending, especially when I do it without asking Ryan....I feel soo bad. Ryan trusts me so much and I am betraying that. Lord, I want to make sure this section is never just a confession but a repentance too. i pray Holy Spirit that you would help me with this, thank you.
.thanksgiving.
Lord, I thank you that you have really changed my heart a lot in the past years that I've known you. I am so happy I have realized I can still thank you even when I'm throwing up or when you tell me I need to give up my ipod. I'm happy to becoming more like you. I pray Lord I never lose the truth that I would never be this way without you. I pray for reminders like the notes you showed me awhile back that I wrote to Ryan in high school with all that awful language and sexual references. (gosh, i'm so scared Russell will be this way when he's a teenager-Father, i pray Russell could be the first generation in our new Christian family that would follow you throughout his adolescense and not go through that stuff)
.supplication.
what i said in adoration, confession and thanksgiving
MEDITATION: S.O.A.P.
.scripture.
before i put the scripture I just had to share something Pastor Jim said tonight that I really liked. He said that if there is not some sort of warfare against the enemy in our daily walk with God (whether it be battling the thoughts in our mind or being on our guard against a tough questioning person) then we are not putting up a fight. I think that can relate to me right now with my discipline in dedicating myself to the Word and realy prayer. So here is my fight I putting up, staying disciplined to doing my devotional on here. and thank you Jesus for using Maryann to have found my blog to help keep me accountable to keeping up with this blog!
ok so the scripture! Hebrews 12:1-2
.observation.
i really liked verse 2 that says, "do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith." It is interesting to me because part of me understands it and part of me doesn't. The part I understand i that Jesus is definitely the initiator of our faith and growth, because i've experienced it in my own life. But I don't quite understand how He perfects our faith. i guess because He allows the situations that will make us think or cling to Him. it's all kind of a mystery how God works but I trust Him and know He's real.
.application.
it seems like I can apply this to the reason why I've started this blog. God gave me the tools to do this and from there I am working on building my relationship with Him and in turn my faith as well. But it's all thanks to Him, I just need to constantly keep looking back to Him "keeping my eyes on Jesus".
.prayer.
Jesus, I love the feeling I get collectiong more of what I've learned about you in my brain. I love that saying I've heard before that when we become your children our DNA starts to change so that we resemble you more in our actions and speech. I want to keep growing - I'm addicted to it! I know there is some tough roads ahead and don't know exactly what that means but I know it's been great so far and I'm happy to be where i'm am in comparisson to where I was and want to keep seeing how you change me! Not to feel good about myself but because it it soo cool to see my progression because I see you soo much! Nothing else can explain why I would change, especially continually.
Ok, so today's verse to study will be......Hebrew 12 (it was the first thing that caught my eye in my new Bible) - but first prayer!
PRAYER: A.C.T.S.
.adoration.
Jesus, I love that song, "The Face of Love". The words really make me think and just get to me. They make me think of you and it brings me back to show me what love really truly is-You. i have really enjoyed learning so much about you and how the words and meanings you created are so pure and so different from the world. I love learning these new, well actually original, definitions of words i thought i knew like love. I'm so excited to share this knowledge and gift you've given me to Russell.
.confession.
This is hard, I have to admit :/ but it's good cuz I need to come to the reality I sin EVERYDAY! so i should always have something to confess here that needs to be worked on. I guess for today I need to confess that I really have a problem spending money. Not necessarilly on material things (which I do do) but more so on spending money on to go out to eat with friends and family. quality time is one of my biggest love languages and I cherish any moment I get to spend time with friends or family. So when a lunch date is mentioned or I am invited it feels worth it to me to spend the money for the outcome i get of bonding with friends and family. Even though I feel God has really blessed me and Ryan monetarily lately, I do feel like i am out of control on the spending, especially when I do it without asking Ryan....I feel soo bad. Ryan trusts me so much and I am betraying that. Lord, I want to make sure this section is never just a confession but a repentance too. i pray Holy Spirit that you would help me with this, thank you.
.thanksgiving.
Lord, I thank you that you have really changed my heart a lot in the past years that I've known you. I am so happy I have realized I can still thank you even when I'm throwing up or when you tell me I need to give up my ipod. I'm happy to becoming more like you. I pray Lord I never lose the truth that I would never be this way without you. I pray for reminders like the notes you showed me awhile back that I wrote to Ryan in high school with all that awful language and sexual references. (gosh, i'm so scared Russell will be this way when he's a teenager-Father, i pray Russell could be the first generation in our new Christian family that would follow you throughout his adolescense and not go through that stuff)
.supplication.
what i said in adoration, confession and thanksgiving
MEDITATION: S.O.A.P.
.scripture.
before i put the scripture I just had to share something Pastor Jim said tonight that I really liked. He said that if there is not some sort of warfare against the enemy in our daily walk with God (whether it be battling the thoughts in our mind or being on our guard against a tough questioning person) then we are not putting up a fight. I think that can relate to me right now with my discipline in dedicating myself to the Word and realy prayer. So here is my fight I putting up, staying disciplined to doing my devotional on here. and thank you Jesus for using Maryann to have found my blog to help keep me accountable to keeping up with this blog!
ok so the scripture! Hebrews 12:1-2
.observation.
i really liked verse 2 that says, "do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith." It is interesting to me because part of me understands it and part of me doesn't. The part I understand i that Jesus is definitely the initiator of our faith and growth, because i've experienced it in my own life. But I don't quite understand how He perfects our faith. i guess because He allows the situations that will make us think or cling to Him. it's all kind of a mystery how God works but I trust Him and know He's real.
.application.
it seems like I can apply this to the reason why I've started this blog. God gave me the tools to do this and from there I am working on building my relationship with Him and in turn my faith as well. But it's all thanks to Him, I just need to constantly keep looking back to Him "keeping my eyes on Jesus".
.prayer.
Jesus, I love the feeling I get collectiong more of what I've learned about you in my brain. I love that saying I've heard before that when we become your children our DNA starts to change so that we resemble you more in our actions and speech. I want to keep growing - I'm addicted to it! I know there is some tough roads ahead and don't know exactly what that means but I know it's been great so far and I'm happy to be where i'm am in comparisson to where I was and want to keep seeing how you change me! Not to feel good about myself but because it it soo cool to see my progression because I see you soo much! Nothing else can explain why I would change, especially continually.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Spiritual Discipline
After much contemplation and restlessness with trying to find a way to keep me interested in my time spent with God, and after a spot on for me sermon today from both my Pastor Jim and from women's group tonight from Vicky, I am coming back to my blog to start afresh and try this new way of life journaling.
I'm excited to get started with good habits and be transformed much more by God's Word and His increasing presence in my life! So here goes Day 1:
1) PRAYER: A.C.T.S.
.adoration.
Jesus, God, i so often marvely and thank you and talk about hosw amazing your creations are. about how beautiful your sky can be or how intricately detailed you have made our bodies work or even just how amazed i am at the color flowers can be, but I feel i am hardly touching on adoration enough and am missing a lot of who you are or what you are capable of. So, I want to try to think out of the box of how to adore you right now.... Your ability to change hearts by softly nudging our hearts. i have seen it happen a few times now and and starting to realize the gentleman you always are and remain to be yet how irresistable you always show up to be to anyone :)
.confession.
i don't know why i have never thought of this or sadly, been convicted to do. i know at the times i say something i regretted or have an ill thought i will tell you i'm sorry but i think it is good to reflect on the person i still am and need to work on and im not sure yet, but i think i am not doing this quite in the way i need to be. but for now i will start this way and know you will reveal to me more of what my heart needs to do in this confession time with you.
Lord of my life, I do need to confess that for sometime i have felt like my life has been very put together. to the point that i feel the same way with my walk with you. i feel as though because Bible studies are good and my friendships are firm and so forth that i am a "good christian", but i know i need to be humbled more and feel more of that i don't deserve your grace mentality so that i yearn to be more like you, and not so content with where i am. i know you know this but i have to admit outloud to you too that i have a hard time feeling bad for this and want to be sensitive to what you've done for me and to feel humbled (although im scared i will be embarrassed very soon! lol) i know you have shown me lots by my own convictions or observations of myself and I thank you for revealing those truths to me as well as doing them in a way that i am not embarrassed. i really want to be more raw with myself, i guess in the way confession is supposed to me, exposing the deep dark parts about ourselves - i totally love this and live by it, but am not reaching down deep enough. Father, help show me how to dig deep with my ownself as easily as it is for me to do with others. Thank you Jesus.
.thanksgiving.
Jesus, I shouldn't stop thanking you for what you are doing with my sister. I still can't believe it's all happening. Thank you for loving her and not letting go of her. I see now you have always been working on her and my parents since the days i started praying for them. i am enjoying learning how to have faith in you and just am soo thankful of how you love my family and that you care for them too - thank you God soo much
.supplication.
Jesus, I am sorry for always praying to you in just this section. but that's why im going to try this new way to get me less bored and more interactive with you. and to give you the praise and time you deserve.
I don't want to ask for anything tonight, nothing is pressing on my heart at the moment, I am just enjoying the things that are going on around me right now. I know there is ALWAYS something to pray for, especially for those less fortunate than me. but because I could be here all my life writing down things and people to pray for, I want to make a point to only pray for those things really on my heart or brought to my attention, i want to always be genuine and passionate and i guess purposeful in my prayers.
Thank you Jesus for how far you have taken me and for what you have left to show me.
2) MEDITATION: S.O.A.P.
.scripture.
i have no idea where to start, so I will go online now and find somewhere to get going....i like Our Daily Bread, here is the scripture for today: 1 Peter 4:7-11
.observation.
7The end of the world is coming soon. Therefore, be earnest and disciplined in your prayers.-----well this caught my eye about being earnest and discipline in prayers. i am intrigued by what this means. I guess for the things I am most earnest about happening i need to be disciplined in praying for. (i guess the 1 Thessalonians 5:17 principle needs to be applied-Pray without ceasing!) first i would like to do this, but if i pray every night about it i start to not be earnest or genuine about it because im just saying it to be saying it out of what feels like saying a special chant for magic to happen. i want my heart to flow out each time i pray, so i am not sure how to follow what God is saying in this verse. Father, would you reveal to me what this means? I know you will and look forward to changing that in my prayer life!
.application.
a way i can apply this, atleast for now, for what I know (i know there is a verse somewhere that says we are only accountable for what we know) is that I need to devote myself to consistently and earnestly praying for my sister right now. it is the biggest thing on my heart right now and based on this verse, it seems it is very important i stay disciplined to that. so for this week, as my homework for my devotional tonight is to pray for her every night-----keep me accountable to this and to not forget!!
.prayer.
i feel like i need to say this outloud, out of reverence for God and i just think it's good for me, going to pray now after I post this up!
that felt good to do this tonight! im excited to keep going. i need to be prepared to have to be disciplined thought just as Pastor Jim talked about today - just like making exercising a priority and habit, takes some discipline - btw so happy for http://biblos.com/ - I LOVEE it!
I'm excited to get started with good habits and be transformed much more by God's Word and His increasing presence in my life! So here goes Day 1:
1) PRAYER: A.C.T.S.
.adoration.
Jesus, God, i so often marvely and thank you and talk about hosw amazing your creations are. about how beautiful your sky can be or how intricately detailed you have made our bodies work or even just how amazed i am at the color flowers can be, but I feel i am hardly touching on adoration enough and am missing a lot of who you are or what you are capable of. So, I want to try to think out of the box of how to adore you right now.... Your ability to change hearts by softly nudging our hearts. i have seen it happen a few times now and and starting to realize the gentleman you always are and remain to be yet how irresistable you always show up to be to anyone :)
.confession.
i don't know why i have never thought of this or sadly, been convicted to do. i know at the times i say something i regretted or have an ill thought i will tell you i'm sorry but i think it is good to reflect on the person i still am and need to work on and im not sure yet, but i think i am not doing this quite in the way i need to be. but for now i will start this way and know you will reveal to me more of what my heart needs to do in this confession time with you.
Lord of my life, I do need to confess that for sometime i have felt like my life has been very put together. to the point that i feel the same way with my walk with you. i feel as though because Bible studies are good and my friendships are firm and so forth that i am a "good christian", but i know i need to be humbled more and feel more of that i don't deserve your grace mentality so that i yearn to be more like you, and not so content with where i am. i know you know this but i have to admit outloud to you too that i have a hard time feeling bad for this and want to be sensitive to what you've done for me and to feel humbled (although im scared i will be embarrassed very soon! lol) i know you have shown me lots by my own convictions or observations of myself and I thank you for revealing those truths to me as well as doing them in a way that i am not embarrassed. i really want to be more raw with myself, i guess in the way confession is supposed to me, exposing the deep dark parts about ourselves - i totally love this and live by it, but am not reaching down deep enough. Father, help show me how to dig deep with my ownself as easily as it is for me to do with others. Thank you Jesus.
.thanksgiving.
Jesus, I shouldn't stop thanking you for what you are doing with my sister. I still can't believe it's all happening. Thank you for loving her and not letting go of her. I see now you have always been working on her and my parents since the days i started praying for them. i am enjoying learning how to have faith in you and just am soo thankful of how you love my family and that you care for them too - thank you God soo much
.supplication.
Jesus, I am sorry for always praying to you in just this section. but that's why im going to try this new way to get me less bored and more interactive with you. and to give you the praise and time you deserve.
I don't want to ask for anything tonight, nothing is pressing on my heart at the moment, I am just enjoying the things that are going on around me right now. I know there is ALWAYS something to pray for, especially for those less fortunate than me. but because I could be here all my life writing down things and people to pray for, I want to make a point to only pray for those things really on my heart or brought to my attention, i want to always be genuine and passionate and i guess purposeful in my prayers.
Thank you Jesus for how far you have taken me and for what you have left to show me.
2) MEDITATION: S.O.A.P.
.scripture.
i have no idea where to start, so I will go online now and find somewhere to get going....i like Our Daily Bread, here is the scripture for today: 1 Peter 4:7-11
.observation.
7The end of the world is coming soon. Therefore, be earnest and disciplined in your prayers.-----well this caught my eye about being earnest and discipline in prayers. i am intrigued by what this means. I guess for the things I am most earnest about happening i need to be disciplined in praying for. (i guess the 1 Thessalonians 5:17 principle needs to be applied-Pray without ceasing!) first i would like to do this, but if i pray every night about it i start to not be earnest or genuine about it because im just saying it to be saying it out of what feels like saying a special chant for magic to happen. i want my heart to flow out each time i pray, so i am not sure how to follow what God is saying in this verse. Father, would you reveal to me what this means? I know you will and look forward to changing that in my prayer life!
.application.
a way i can apply this, atleast for now, for what I know (i know there is a verse somewhere that says we are only accountable for what we know) is that I need to devote myself to consistently and earnestly praying for my sister right now. it is the biggest thing on my heart right now and based on this verse, it seems it is very important i stay disciplined to that. so for this week, as my homework for my devotional tonight is to pray for her every night-----keep me accountable to this and to not forget!!
.prayer.
i feel like i need to say this outloud, out of reverence for God and i just think it's good for me, going to pray now after I post this up!
that felt good to do this tonight! im excited to keep going. i need to be prepared to have to be disciplined thought just as Pastor Jim talked about today - just like making exercising a priority and habit, takes some discipline - btw so happy for http://biblos.com/ - I LOVEE it!
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